Image Credit: George Rose/Getty ImagesCharlie Sheen is a wordsmith, at least that much is abundantly clear from the last few days of complete Sheen overload. Say what you will about his lifestyle, mental state, personal character, or general status as a human being, but quotes like “I am battle-tested bayonets” and “can’t is the cancer of happen” sound more like they erupted half-formed from the mind of William S. Burroughs than the former star of Two and a Half Men.*
Well, it turns out that Sheen recognized his own bonkers lyricism and tried his hand at writing poems, even going so far as self-publishing a (now out-of-print) collection in 1990 which can be seen on Amazon. The book, called A Peace of My Mind and featuring illustrations by writer/director/Sheen-pal Adam Rifkin, presumably gives readers some insight into the cage-match of crazy that is Sheen’s unique worldview. Interestingly enough, it appears that Sheen also narrated some of his work for Rifkin’s film Tale of Two Sisters, the trailer for which can be found here. The movie looks like a grainy, early-John-Waters trip, but the real star is the poetry, which Sheen reads somberly and seriously. I’ve transcribed what’s in the trailer for your amusement and literary betterment.
Afternoon chaos turned to laughter,
As the lady in grey pierces the surface of the private aquarium,
Peach body held tight by the warmth of day,
Eyes fixed to locate, steady flow consumed,
A charred eruption takes suddenly the safety from her glow.
No place to hide, clear water raging black,
Looking hard for shallow hope, it’s gone, she consumed it.
Mascara bleeding, eyes of fire turned to stone,
Forced smile fading, laughing jackal breaks the leash.
*Interesting factoid: Both Burroughs and Sheen accidentally shot their significant other at some point in their lives. The more you know!
What tha???? Somebody’s got some splanin’ to doooo….
What an idiot.
The movie looks like a grainy, early-John-Waters trip, but the real star is the poetry, which Sheen reads somberly and seriously. I’ve transcribed what’s in the trailer for your amusement and literary betterment.I am an Air Force and single at present .I need a woman who can love me back ..I also uploaded my hot photos on Uniformedmate .C oM under the name of hoho212..It’s the largest and best club for seeking Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force, Police Force, and the admirers of those who wear the uniform.I just hope you don’t mind me being a soldier …Please Check it out!I’m serious.
can it be special ordered? please say yes!
There’s a poem about a goat in his arse, priceless
Sad little wore-out man. Been on top so long that he forgot that he was just second rate actor with only one joke. Time to go Charlie.
Do I detect a hint of River? If so, kudos…
Maybe this is the book deal he’s been talking about. Shopping around volume 2 of his poetry, possibly called “The Remaining Fragments of My Mind”. Go for it Charlie!
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If you know anything about poetry that’s actually not bad. You americans though, so quick to jump on successful people while you all have a family member or a friend who’s dead or dying while you turn a blind eye to their addictions. I couldn’t care less about Charlie Sheen, except to recognize how little I care about the mans critics.
Yes, yes, EVERYONE in America has a dying addict family member that we ignore so that we can poke fun at poor, sick Charlie Sheen. Stupid Americans! Gah!
No, that was actually REALLY bad.
No. It was pretty good. What do you know about it anyway?
I see Charley as a revel against all of what is U.S., I guess he knows U.S., can never fully be America. Real Humans don’t make Idols just to destroy then.
GETTYMOVIE … Getty/Hitler Trilogy is dedicated to UCLA Professor Emeritus Gene Levine.
I earned the Getty Oil Company shareholders 4 Billion Bucks
On the Reserve acquisition; the way they treat me — it really sucks!
As the Getty inheritors bask in glee;
All I asked for was that they look after me.
Four billion dollars they earned on Reserve
My fee I surely deserve.
It turns out J.P. Getty may have been a Nazi;
His family even goes back to Germany.
With Hitler, Goring & Goebbels he did stand;
While trying to undermine the American land!
For paintings & artifacts he did receive
With his oil he was able to deceive?
Hoover & the FBI and Roosevelt they knew
That J.P. Getty & espionage he drew!
Many a young lad and Jew did die
As planes dropped bombs from the sky.
For years while Getty sat in Berlin
He may have committed many a sin.
The ashes and smoke from the chimneys it rose
While old man Getty sat cozy; he chose.
With artwork held tightly under his arm
Still dripping in blood — as the real owner met harm.
Into the ovens & on meat-hooks, bullets between the eyes
Listen very carefully you can still hear their cries!
While the Gettys sit in England; at their estate at Wormsley
And Gordon sings in San Francisco
With his 727 in tow.
The Getty museum sits atop Malibu
While the corpses of World War 2 scream — J.P. Getty — We know you!
Oh Wow! That makes my brain hurt.
Charlie did it 4 teh LULZ!!!
The mother (in the trailer) looks and sounds like Divine.
It is difficult to believe that Charlie Sheen used to be a good-looking guy instead of the wrinkled waste of a person he now is. He would do well as a poster boy for the dangers of a sex- and drug-addled lifestyle.
I actually…like that poem.
Awesome !
Now everyone’s on the tortured poet bandwagon. I saw a tshirt on cafepress that says ‘I Have Aphrodite DNA.’ Apparently ladies want equal mythological beauty rights. At least we’re having fun
clown man cries out loud
mistakes brain burps for clever thoughts
walk away, sorry clown
HAHAHAHAHA!
Shriveled crack head w/ grandiosity abound
blowing vomits “chucks” (LOL) all about town;
desperate for attention from all, somebody
cuz gutter rats love liekwise company…