Take out your red pens, grammarians! In case you’re feeling turkey or family overload this weekend, treat yourself to a laugh by checking out these hilarious grammatical blunders from More Badder Grammar (available now) by I Judge You When You Use Poor Grammar author Sharon Eliza Nichols. SWEEPING DISCLAIMER: Any spelling or grammatical errors I make in this post are completely intentonal.
NEXT: Attack of the mutant goldfish …
If your pets are members of the family, shouldn’t they be embarrassed with the rest of you? Mike Bender and Doug Chernack, the authors of the New York Times bestselling Awkward Family Photos, bring you Awkward Family Pet Photos (now available). In turns cute, hideous, funny, and always uncomfortable, these real portraits feature families and the pets they love — sometimes too much. That love for pets leads people to do odd things; throw a camera in the mix, and you have instant cringe-worthy memories. I suspect many of these photos were paid for and shot in the 80′s, and as we all know, professionally staged photos from the 80′s are the best kind, especially when they include surly animals. Check out these awkward photos and let us know your favorites! READ FULL STORY »
Image Credit: Jason LaVeris/Getty Images
File under: Two people you never expected to say in the same sentence. But with the devastating news that Kim Kardashian has decided to end her marriage after just 72 days, even esteemed author Salman Rushdie had to weigh in on the controversy — on Twitter.
Yesterday, Rushdie tweeted (in three parts!) “1. The marriage of poor kim #kardashian was krushed like a kar in a krashian” “2. her kris kried, not fair! why kan’t I keep my share?” “3. But kardashian fell klean outa fashian.”
The never-to-be-repeated limerick seemed to have come about as a challenge to Rushdie from a follower. Well played, Internet.
Readers: Is this the funniest thing to come out of the Kardashian news?
Read more:
Kim Kardashian, Kris Jenner address divorce blowback with their own media blitz — VIDEO
Kris Jenner shares details on her relationship with Nicole Brown Simpson in new memoir
Miranda Lambert on Kim Kardashian’s divorce: ‘You get what you asked for’
These days, blogging well is the sweetest revenge. But Kevin Cotter, box-salesman-turned-author of the blog-to-book 101 Uses for My Ex-Wife’s Wedding Dress (out Oct. 25), doesn’t seem to have revenge on the mind. Sure, he’s photographed himself doing some awful things to his ex-wife’s wedding dress, but he keeps the tone of his book lighthearted, funny, and at times, insightful. Either way, his wife did tell him to do “whatever the f—” he wanted with the dress on the way out the door. Click through for some of Cotter’s ingenious uses — and disuses — for marital tulle. Tell us which ones are your favorites!
We live in a world where Ozzy Osbourne, the “Prince of Darkness” himself, is now the author of not one but two books. His first book, the memoir I Am Ozzy, landed on the New York Times‘ best-seller list last year. And today his second work, Trust Me, I’m Dr. Ozzy: Advice from Rock’s Ultimate Survivor, hits shelves. And who knows? Maybe Dr. Ozzy will similarly find its way onto the best-seller list.
The idea for Dr. Ozzy stemmed from his gig as an advice columnist for The Sunday Times (a column also seen in select issues of Rolling Stone). The book, infused with his own personal stories, is mostly set up in a Q&A format where he answers a wide range of questions varying from sex to mental illness. And while he gives some surprisingly good advice at certain points, he acknowledges that he’s no expert: “I mean, unless the advice is how to end up dead or in jail, I’m not exactly qualified. I’m Ozzy Osbourne, not Oprah f—ing Winfrey.”
So I trudged through the 12-chapter book (so you don’t have to!) to pull out some of the more interesting points. And you can trust me on that. I’m NOT a doctor. Just like Ozzy Osbourne. READ FULL STORY »
Marcel the Shell, the tiny star of 2010′s cutest YouTube sensation, is expanding his media empire. The little dude, who seems alternately amazed and saddened by his own itty-bitty existence, will be releasing a children’s book, Marcel the Shell with Shoes On: Things About Me (out Nov. 1). He also has a television show in development, according to a Jezebel interview with creators Jenny Slate and Dean Fleischer-Camp.
The best part about the Marcel the Shell video is his tentative, pipsqueak voice (performed by Slate, a former Saturday Night Live cast member), so it’s a good thing that Slate has recorded an accompanying audio version. READ FULL STORY »
The male librarian is not as rare a specimen as you might think. In fact, there are enough of them to fill out every month of the year. With the 2012 Men of the Stacks, which is sort of the book world’s answer to sexy firemen calendars, we get photos of a diverse group of men — who also happen to be librarians — in their natural habitats, which isn’t always the library! My favorites are Mr. January (in a pose that’s very, very mildly NSFW), Mr. September, and Mr. December, who’s pictured on the right. Who’s your favorite sexy shusher?
When editors approached author Cecily von Ziegesar to write a genre mash-up of her popular first Gossip Girl book, she immediately came up with some ground rules: “No zombies, no vampires.” Instead, she kept the characters human, but took the original text of Gossip Girl and added some murderous elements. Just as in the original novel, Serena comes back to the Upper East Side after spending time away at boarding school — only in this reboot, she has murder on the mind. The Serena we know would exact vengeance on her enemies by sleeping with their boyfriends or getting them in trouble at school. Psycho killer Serena just kills them in the bloodiest possible fashion. While there’s more in this week’s issue of EW, see below for von Ziegesar’s thoughts on Gossip Girl‘s strange new twist. Spoilers ahead! READ FULL STORY »
Image Credit: Charles Norfleet/PR Photos
An as-yet untitled memoir, which promises to be a “no holds barred” look into rock star and actress Courtney Love’s wild life, will be staggering your way in Fall 2012, according to a press release from William Morrow. Co-written by Anthony Bozza, the memoir will set the record straight on a number of topics, including Love’s tumultuous marriage to Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain, her drug use and recovery, relationship with daughter Frances Beane, and highly publicized affairs with Billy Corgan and Ed Norton.
Yet another artifact from the slow, painful death of Borders has emerged. A fascinating look inside a (justifiably) angry bookseller’s mind, this manifesto of sorts, “Things We Never Told You: Ode to a bookstore death” informs us of what those helpful Borders folks had to put up with. (I have to admit — seeing the list, I realize I’ve been a bad customer in the past.) Hopefully, we’ll learn from our mistakes and treat the Barnes & Noble people better. The statements from the list are re-printed below — which ones do you agree with? READ FULL STORY »
