You have a fun promotional campaign: Pre-order Crap Kingdom, and you’ll write the person’s name in a custom rap song. Where did that idea come from. It’s pretty cool, and even Lena Dunham tweeted about it recently.
I’ve rapped about a hundred people so far, with lots and lots more to go, and you—the person reading this—can join them by pre-ordering and achieve immortality in the hallowed halls of rap-dom.
Pre-orders are very, very important for a new book. I wanted a way to motivate people to pre-order beyond just, “You’ll get the book when it comes out.” I think the idea came out of needing something fun. Something that I could do for every person, and they’d still feel special. And once I realized that “custom rap” could be abbreviated to “C. RAP,” as in “CRAP,” as in “CRAP KINGDOM,” I felt like destiny was calling me, telling me to rap a bunch of strangers’ names on YouTube.
What can you do with “Breia?”
I’d probably say something like, “I can’t stop spittin’, I got logorrhea,” which sounds gross, but is in fact just another term for using a lot of, maybe too many, words. Or maybe I’d rhyme it with “carpintería,” which is Spanish for “carpentry.” Why? I have no idea. And we’ll never know, either. Unless you pre-order. Oh sure, you’ve read it already. But you have lived until you’ve been immortalized in a custom rap. Don’t you want to live, Breia Carpintería?!
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