Call it the Fifty Shades bump — literally. BabyCenter has released their yearly list of most popular baby names and — shocker! — the Class of 2030 will be seeing a lot more Anastasias and Greys. Wait, Greys? Yes, readers. When bestowing a Fifty Shades-inspired moniker on their child, parents chose not Christian, but Grey. The name saw a 20 percent jump from last year. On the girls’ side of things, Anastasia rose ten percent, while Ana climbed 35 spots. I suppose we should just be thankful these parents are still together. Make love, not war, right?
As the child of a voracious reader, this news strikes particularly close to home. My father named me for Gone with the Wind, but my brother was not so lucky (in his eyes) — his name is Dickens and he’s been clamoring to change it to Will since he was 10 (don’t even get me started on our dog Trollope). So on that note, what are the worst book-based names you can think of? Here are my top ten:
1. Xhex (Black Dagger Brotherhood): In my head, this is pronounced like a sneeze.
2. Bitterblue (Bitterblue): Any name that uses real words is a risk (see: Moxie Crimefighter).
3. Horatio Hornblower (The Horatio Hornblower Series): You know you just laughed.
4. Ever Bloom (The Immortals Series): Subtle, it’s not.
5. Four (Divergent): Look, I get why he goes by Four, but come on. I mean, it’s no Seven.
6. Galbatorix (Eragon): Unless you want your child to be evil.
7. Podrick Payne (A Song of Ice and Fire): There are so many to choose, but I had go with this alliterative monstrosity.
8. Sookie (The Southern Vampire Mysteries): Or as Bill would say it, “Sookeeeh.”
9. Albus Severus (Harry Potter): Really? His older brother gets James Sirius and he gets Albus Severus?
10. Katniss (The Hunger Games): Sorry girl, I love you, but I can’t get behind your name.
What are your picks? Share them below!
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