What's that smell? Why it's just a bit of 'Jersey Shore' in your bookcase!

jersey-shoreImage Credit: Scott Gries/MTVSurprisingly, the first book to pop out of the greasy traffic accident that is the MTV reality series Jersey Shore is not a heart-wrenching introspective memoir entitled The Reality of The Situation. No, it’s Never Fall In Love At the Jersey Shore, a Guido guide on how to maintain that distinctive Jersey Shore look and attitude, brought to you by two of the show’s houseguests, J-WOWW and Ronnie. That’s right, folks! You too can be a lowest common denominator!

St. Martin’s Press has signed a deal with the two fair-weather Jerseyites to bring you all the best insight into GTL (Gym, Tanning, Laundry), MOITHT (Making Out In The Hot Tub) and GABTCAPSOOTB (Getting Arrested By The Cops After Punching Someone Out On The Boardwalk.) No doubt the advice will be as shallow as the Atlantic Ocean is deep, but perhaps they’ll be nice enough to include a free sample canister of Axe Body Spray along with some suggestions for dermatologists who specialize in melanoma.

What say you, Shelf-Lifers? Gross? Or awesome (and gross)?

Comments (29 total) Add your comment
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  • Nshi

    Ugh, I can smell Jwoww from here. It’s a mix between Chicken of the Sea and Red Bull.

    • Adam

      I actually saw her in a Target on Long Island the other day, and strangely enough, that’s exactly what she was buying!

      • ummmmhmmm

        Yeah right lol!

      • Sasha Grey

        JWow is hot!! I would love to get down with her… I would eat her Chicken of Sea and drink Red Bull from her belly button.
        @ Adam, I love Target, so much better than wal-mart and less trashy.
        I wonder what Roni plans on doing after this, hopefully he takes his money and starts a pizza shop called Roni’s Pizza.
        Snooki makes me want to never hook up with an Italian girl again… Gross!

  • Mark

    I’m gonna buy a million copies!

    • Sasha Grey

      @ Mark – why won’t one suffice?

  • Nathan

    Will they come with crayons, or will the purchaser need to get those separately?

    • ummmmhmmm

      SCORE!!

    • Maureen

      LOL!! XD

  • Brett

    I’m confused because this article strongly implies that fans of Jersey Shore know how to read.

    • Anne

      You beat me to it Brett!

    • Rebecca

      Yeah, I thought you had to be able to read a book before you could write one. But I guess I’ve already been proved wrong by Tori Spelling.

  • Generation Gossip

    I hope that at least this helps young adults start reading.Even though it sort of makes my skin crawl

    Check Out GenerationGossip.com

  • TK

    I’m shocked that either of those two, even know what a book is… much less how to write one.

  • James

    How long are 15 minutes? I thought their time was up in early Jan…yawn.

  • Jake

    This show is a disgrace but look who airs it…MTV…Moron TV

  • Dustin

    It’s sad that there are people out there who are actually talented writers that haven’t gotten a break yet but these two get a book deal for nothing.

    • Nathan

      Yeah, it’s really not right at all.

  • Justagirl

    It’s going to be a pop up book, therefore no reading skill necessary.

    • Sasha Grey

      That is awesome! I wonder if JWow will be proportionate. I at least hope there will be a paragraph on each page. Maybe JWow will become a stripper at a upscale NYC club? I have my 100s waiting.

  • SLB

    Yeah, and right after i buy this sorry excuse for a book i’m going to run out and buy Speidi’s book. I hope the sales are a disaster and these fake *ss wannabe’s will go away.

  • billyc

    Unfortunately a lot of people will buy these books to give as jokes,…….we are stuck with these tools.

  • Normalman

    For the love of God, Buddha, Mohammad, the Earth Mother, the Environment, or whoever/whatever you hold most dear, please do not buy this book. You are only encouraging the destruction of all that is good. Please do not keep encouraging these people, they are the Antichrist.

  • JustSayin

    Snooky went on national TV and told everyone that her parents are from Cile, and that she is not Italian.

  • WTF

    What? They’re going to learn to read? I bet they’ll go from Goodnight, Moon to RL Stine in five or six years.

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