Rock music has produced its fair share of deathless poetry — precious little of which features in Crap Lyrics, a book by British writer Johnny Read the full post.
Oct 29
2009
03:25 PM ET
'Crap Lyrics': What's your favorite example of lyrical lousiness?
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“Knew I would love you like a fat kid love food”, from the remix of the Jason Mraz song “I’m yours” –
But I have to admit, it cracks me up every time I hear it on the radio
I know it’s not rock, but the following line from the otherwise brilliant musical “Wicked” ALWAYS makes me cringe:
“Listen, Nessa – uh, Nessa? I’ve got something to confess-a…”
That score is filled with horrible rhymes. The worst:
Don’t be offended by my frank analysis,
Think of it as personality dialysis
it’s “Nessa-uh, Nessa? I’ve got something to confess, a reason why, well, why I asked you here tonight…”
Not really cringe-worthy, although breaking the musical line right there makes it sound weird…
i thought those weird rhymes were actually kind of clever. especially in “Popular”
Don’t be offended by my frank analysis,
Think of it as personality dialysis
Now that I’ve chosen to become a pal, a sis
ter an advisor…
I dunno, I thought it was cute
The Who: “Long live rock, be it dead or alive”
I’m starting to feel a little abused like a coffee machine in an office.
Thank you! I heard that and all I could think was “…really Shakira? Really?”
What like you don’t abuse the coffee machine in your office? Besides “I’m starting to feel like your red headed step child” doesn’t sound as good.
Help me rhonda
Help, help me rhonda
Help me rhonda
Help, help me rhonda
Help me rhonda
Help, help me rhonda
Help me rhonda
Help, help me rhonda
Help me rhonda
Help, help me rhonda
Help me rhonda
Help, help me rhonda
Help me rhonda yeah
Get her out of my heart
Hee
)
Great. Now I have this song stuck in my head!
Thank you not so very much! ; )
Is it gone yet?
…but what’s the name of that song??
LMAO!!!!
Barely got it out, but the cure was nearly as bad. I got home and my teenage son was playing his hip-hop station. Yeah, I cringed and the cats were scared.
I read that as “Barely got it out, but The Cure was nearly as bad” and was about to freak out on you! Robert Smith has great lyrics! How could you not love “the Lovecats”?
Goes for more coffee…
Shakira:
“Lucky that my breasts are small and humble so you don’t confuse them with mountains.”
I love that line. It’s clever and daring.
The Who also gave us “One & one don’t make two, One & one make one”
Deep. Very deep
“You’re a jerk. You’re a jerk. You’re a jerk (i know!). You’re a jerk (i know!). You’re a jerk, jerk, jerk, jerk, jerk, jerk…”
This song makes me want to rip someone’s head off. Specifically the man who sang this “song”.
I HATE this song! I can’t even listen to it…
OMG! My friend got me to listen to that crap because he was telling me about how bad it is. UGG! Epic fail for music!
Ha, ha, ha!
Wow, you guys are cracking me up. If I wasn’t home alone my family would think I was insane. Anyway, the worst lyrics? Found in rap songs. “I’ll take you to the candy shop / I’ll let you lick the lollipop”? REALLY? Could that be any more disgusting?
LOL Ashley, me too I’m dying laughing at home! My parents think I’m going crazy!
Don’t forget another lyric from that gem of a song from 50 Cent: “I melt in your mouth girl, not in your hand.”
If I was a sculptor, but then again, no – Your Song
I love Elton John. I really do. Heck, I even love this song.
But then again, I can’t stand obviously incorrect grammar from a great and terrific lyricist like him.
So, no.
Actually, the lyrics were written by Bernie Taupin. Elton doesn’t write lyrics (ever).
Ahhh!
I did not know that!
Now I know who to blame. At least the melody is good.
Actually, I think these lyrics are great. The point is that he’s so in love he’s kind of flustered and trying to think of something that would fully convey his feelings.
He doesn’t even know if her eyes are blue or green.
That’s what makes this song so great! He is like a fumbling fool trying to get his point across. Ok don’t shoot me but I actually heard this song first on Moulin Rouge. They are both beautiful!
Madonna – I Love New York
I don’t like cities
But I like New York
Other places make me feel like a dork
Thank you! And doesn’t she say something about how she doesn’t like Texas because they’ve got lots of oil?
If you don’t like my attitude
Then you can eff off. (yes, she actually says “eff”)
Just go to Texas.
Isn’t that where they golf?
“Because you were Romeo, I was a SCARLETT LETTER, and my daddy said stay away from Juliet.” seriously did Taylor Swift pass high school English..everyone knows the Scarlett Letter is about adultry!
That whole song is awful, but that is the worst part.
Every Taylor Swift song I’ve heard makes me cringe like that. I guess I’m too old to “get it” since I’m not in high school anymore, but still. Awful.
Actually The Scarlet Letter was about a particular type of Scarlet Letter, that being an A. However at the time there were other types of letters given out based on various crimes, from what I remember it was seen as more “humane” then branding someone on their face. That being said while the song is an ear worm I really did enjoy the few hundred times I heard it.
its not referring to the book, or even the scarlet letter A. Its just about the fact she is the “sin”, something forbidden for the boy.
How about McCartney: “And in this ever changing world in which we live in”?
Lyric as grammatical contortionist, very nice.
The lyric is: ‘And in this ever-changing world in which we’re living.’
Not to nit-pick, but it’s “And IF this ever-changing world in which we’re living, makes you give in and cry…say live and let die”
I used to think that was a triple negative, too, but it makes more sense as, “And IF this ever changing world in which we’re livin’ makes you give it a try.”
Doesn’t matter it is a great song!
ok all of the beetles get a free pass period! although some of the wings lyrics are funny.
ok I can not remember the whole song but remember that TERRIBLE song with the lyrics:
“I like girls that wear abercrombie & fitch
chinese food makes me sick”
made me sick every time I heard it!
This is the song I was going to add! “Summer Girls” by LFO. Makes the Black Eyed Peas look like Lennon and McCartney by comparison.
The only reason it got any air play (besides the lead singers looks) was they mention Abercrombie & Fitch in it.
Hahahaha!!! My favorite part was, “There was a good man named Paul Revere… I feel much better baby when you’re near!” WTF!?
It goes “New kids on the block had a bunch of hits, Chinese food makes me sick…” UGH!! That song was frickin’ horrible.
It gets even worse:
“Stayed all summer
Then went back home
Macualay Culkin wasn’t home alone
Fell deep in love but
Now we ain’t speaking
Michael J. Fox was Alex P. Keaton”
Man, this song was horrible!
LOL I was wondering when someone would post this! While reading the article that song went through my head. The whole song is crappy lyrics!
you can’t forget this:
When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet
Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets.
I keep bleeding,
keep bleeding, keep bleeding
love
The worst lyrics evah
YES! IF SHE IS BLEEDING SO MUCH WHY ISN’T SHE DEAD YET???? ugh horrible song, but she does have a great voice.
sorry I have to disagree, I think this song is amazing. I think the lyrics are poetic and really tell of the emotions that come from that kind of situation. That and I love the dance they did to it on SYTYCD