Rock music has produced its fair share of deathless poetry — precious little of which features in Crap Lyrics, a book by British writer Johnny Read the full post.
Oct 29
2009
03:25 PM ET
'Crap Lyrics': What's your favorite example of lyrical lousiness?
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“I’m just bluffin’ with my muffin”
NO THIS IS A GREAT LYRIC!!!!! gotta love GAGA, well not everyone loves her but I sure do! She makes more sense then britney spears
My son loves “Paparazzi” because he calls his daddy, “Papa” and we have a dog named “Roxy”, but that song always confuses me, is she supposed to be the paparazzi stalking the star? or the star being stalked by the paparazzi…
“Let me put my love into you, babe/Let me cut your cake with my knife…Cut it!” Oh, AC/DC, where would we be without you?
And Jim Steinman/Meat Loaf- “But there ain’t no Coup Deville/Hiding at the bottom of a Crackerjack box” Who knew?
Hey – I take exception with your trashing Jim Steinman. The guy is awesome, and “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad” is a great song.
Don’t be crackin on Meatloaf…that’s some classic stuff right there…
What if god was one of us? Just a slob like one of us?
I’m looking at you through the glass. Don’t know how much time has passed.
I’m a bitch, I’m a lover, I’m a child, I’m a mother.
Isn’t it ironic?
Let the bodies hit the flo’.
Anything by Nickelback.
Oh, and if we’re gonna bag on the Police I recommend…
De doo doo doo, de da da da.
I like that song. It’s about being so tongue-tied around a girl that all he can say is “dee doo doo doo…” Which is something everyone can relate to, unlike 3/4 of Sting’s later pomposities.
Or my favorite Police pomposity…
Caught between the Cilla and Charybdis
I assumed that Nickelback would be on the first page of these comments. And you’re correct, any song will do.
Ugh ITA, Nickleback lyrics suck
“Are we human? Or are we dancer?”
I like this one.
Guilty feet have got no rhythm…Careless Whispers, Wham
‘scuse me?
Bwa-hahahahahaha!! I used to puzzle over that lyric when the song came out. I assume he means “[I'm feeling] guilty [and as a result my] feet have got no rhythm” but the fact that you have to think it over to that degree = LYRIC FAIL.
Lyric Brilliance. You 2 are crazy. This is a classic and the lyrics are perfect.
Agreed Diggity, I never had a problem figuring it out.
Actually, it’s a pretty brilliant way of stating that feeling.
It fits into the extended motif of dance and swearing it off out of guilt and sadness. I think guilt can definitely have an effect on how smooth you are (especially if he would be dancing with the person he cheated with).
I wanna tell her that I love her,
but the point is probably moot
OMG! Heard that song the other day and I had to tell my husband how stupid that song was and how that was the worst lyric of all time Hahaha
And he rhymed moot with cute!
I was just about to type that one! Always makes me laugh.
what song is that?
Jessie’s Girl — and it’s a good song. I give him points for even using the word ‘moot.’
its my favorite line of the song.
and not “mute,” like some people say! It alwasy cracks me up when someone says, “That’s a mute point.” I want to smack them
Didn’t something like that come up in a “Friends” episode? Joey said something was a “Moo” point, like a point a cow would make?
Actually, that line never bothered me. The point is moot because she’s with someone else. Makes sense to me!
Yep, understand the lyrics also.
But, I’m partial to Rick Springfield…been in love with him since I was a kid. lol
I think the video is so bad that it is great. kinda how i feel about the song.
my lifestyle determines my deathstyle- Metallica
Love is a four-letter word – Metallica
notice a trend?
That CD never existed. Wip it from your mind. Go directly to Death Magnetic from The Black Album. They didn’t release ANYTHING in between. 1992-2007, no releases. Got it?
I liked St Anger actually… its better than the Load’s thats for sure
True, anything from the Black Eyed Peas should make the list. They are really, really awful.
But Lenny Kravitz holds a special place in my heart for the priceless lyric in “Are You Gonna Go My Way?”: “We’ve got to love and rub-a-dub/we’ve got to dance and be in love” (I think I’ve got that right.) So unfathomably wrong from the guy who had two great albums before that song.
And while you’re at it, try reading his lyrics to “Fly Away” out loud. Atrocious.
Here’s where I make a lot of people really angry, because Deathcab for Cutie is all-holy tot ehir fans:
“Illuminate the No’s on their vacancy signs”
Far too “clever” for the rest of the song, and always sounds like someone’s nose is lighting up.
Absolutely agree on Fly Away. “I want to get awaaaay. I want to fly awaaaay. Yeaaaah. Yeaaaah.”
“My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps.” – The Black-Eyed Peas. And pretty much any song that mentions parts of the anatomy below the neck.
for sure the lumpy song ranks close to #1 for crapitude
“I’m trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful.”
Seriously what the hell were they thinking?
What a crappy lyric! I go nuts every time I hear that Akon song on the radio.
My favorite part is how he uses disrespectful words to describe her anyway, I mean, seriously the best he comes up with is that “Nothing you can compare to your neighborhood w***e”
OMG! I just heard that song, and I kept thinking, “you’ve spent the whole song being disrespectful to women in general, and NOW you’re worried about how you’re coming across? Hooo-boy. Bad song. Bad lyric.
Also, “Don’t Stand So Close to Me” only mentions one book (not books), so with all the incredible dreck out there (“Having My Baby”, anyone?), why pick on this one just because Sting acknowledges that he read a book?
I agree. I always thought that lyric was kind of clever and whimsical since the reference is loaded and “Nabakov” is not the typical word you hear rhymed in a pop song. It’s a bit kitschy, but that’s the charm of it. I usually think it’s a good thing when works with similar themes acknowledge their connection, too; it shows an awareness of history.
Sting ain’t no dope… Actually, with the exception of only a couple of songs, he’s a very brilliant lyricist, both with the Police and as a solo artist.
How ’bout an old Linda Ronstadt song “Poor Poor Pitiful Me” with these lyrics:
Yes he really worked me over good,
He was a credit to his gender.
Took me through some changes, lord,
Sort of like a Waring blender.
Seems a bold stretch just to come up with a rhyme for gender!
written by Warren Zevon – a classic. Doesn’t belong on crap list, imo
Yep, classic Zevon. Not crap.
I agree — classic Warren, may he rest in peace.
Hurt So Bad – I remember Allen Fundt (Google him, people) on some talk show reading the lyrics out loud while decrying the state of pop music in the late 1970s. It was hilarious.
Warren lyrics do not belong on a crap list. Ever. The man was genious.
Pretty much any song by Taylor Swift or Alicia Keys has terrible lyrics.
Yeah “I was the Scarlet Letter”? What?
i know, i hate the mixing of literary allusions in her song. fine, use romeo and juliet, but don’t randomly bring in scarlet letter incorrectly into one line!
My thoughts exactly – YOU were the Scarlet Letter? You were a puritan woman convicted of adultery for carrying a child that was not her husbands? What?
Alicia Keys?! Alicia Keys is most certainly NOT a bad lyricist. Have you really (REALLY) listened to the words of her music? And yes, Taylor Swift’s highschool diary lyrics get a bit repetetive after awhile, but the girl can write too. Come on now!
Domo Aragato Mr. Roboto – Domo!
It’s hard to argue with Mr. Roboto. But try these lyrics from the usually great Steve Miller.
He aint gonna let those two escape justice, He makes his livin off of other peoples taxes
wrong lines:Billy Mac is a detective down in Texas
You know he know exactly what the fact is
Mr. Roboto is set to a movie that is playing in the background during Styx’s Paradise Theater tour. In the movie, Tommy Shaw is a prisoner in a futuristic society where music is prohibited, who was arrested for wanting to make music anyway. Dennis DeYoung is dressed as a robot, like the rest of the guards, and breaks him out of jail. The “Domo Arigato” is Dennis DeYoung thanking his alter ego in the movie for allowing him to break Shaw out of prison so he can make music again. The final scene is Tommy Shaw on a stage about to perform. And just as he start to perfom on the screen the actual concert on stage starts. It’s very inspiring and makes quite a bit of sense if you see it.
“I never knew you had a rock and roll record, until I saw your picture on another guy’s jacket.”
I don’t mind that line. It’s “My best friend told me you’re the best lick in town” that bugs me. I always thought it was “my bass player told me you’re the best lick in town” and was disappointed when I found out it wasn’t.
Aaargh!
Now that song is going to be in my head all day!
Curse you Daniel!